Easter Eggs and Walking

How are these two seemingly different activities related? They are two things Sam really likes!

Yesterday we colored Easter eggs. MY mom and I try to do it yearly, and this year, of course, we had to include sam. We got the kind of kit where you put drops of color onto the egg itself and then put it into a plastic baggie and then you smush the color onto the egg. This turned out to be a good idea for Sam. She loved to shake the bag with the egg in it, and smoosh the colors around. She was so delighted with making the eggs. She colored all 12! (well, maybe 11). Mom and Gammy put the colors onto the egg for her, but she did the rest. It was too cute. She was so tickled. She just gets more fun every day.

As for walking, she is just loving her walker. She will go until she can't go anymore! She loves the freedom and mobility. Mom and dad love it too. She isn't too great with her posture yet, and if she wasn't strapped to the walker she would go toppling over onto the ground. But that is ok. She is learning. She will get teh balance piece later. I just think it is great that she gets to experience what if feels like to walk. And to be independent. It must be such a great feeling, after 2 years! Just think, most kids are crawling by 8 months or so, so it has been a long time since the natural time to be independent has come. Luckily for us she has a great disposition and hasn't complained too much.

Daddy and Gege installed the swing yesterday, so today we will get to use that! She will be so happy with that, too! Mom and Gege tried to make some modifications to the walker to help her posture, but I guess there is a reason that we aren't the experts...we made it worse! Oh well, we tried. We are going to try to get one that is more fitted to her, though.

In other "equipment" news, we discussed the topic with the PT and the developmental specialist yesterday. We decided that we would def. get a new walker for her, and a bath seat, so we can give her a bath in the big tub without having to hold her. She is getting too big, and since she can't sit up yet, it is a trial to bathe her. And since she loves it, it will be nice to ahve something to make it easier on us. We also decided that we aren't getting a wheelchair at this point. Since we aren't putting her on a bus, we don't really need one. ANd since she doesn't have really high tone issues, she doesn't need the strapping of a wheelchair to keep her in it. So we are going to do a regular stroller for now, and get here a seat that she can use in school, in case she needs more support than a regular chair when she gets to school. We feel reasonably comfortable with that. We also found some cute options for the seating, too! So that makes it easier, too. They don't look so "equipment-y" and that helps.
So we were feeling pretty good about things, I think.

THen the dev. specialist mentioned the long-term possibility of putting ramps in our house and other modifications. So, here I was foolishly feeling good about things, and she drops that one on us. I didn't partucularly like it. And I guess I have made some progress because I decided that I wasn't really going to listen to her on that front, and maybe it will live in the back of my mind, but for now, I am not sure why we have to think about that. I mean, really. I know people are trying to be helpful, but they have to remember that it is our child and that everythinig they say is a sensitive topic. Well, this kid has taught us to believe in ourselves and fight every step of the way. From conception 'til now and forever more. People have been trying to put limitations on me (in terms of being able to have a child) and her from day 1. So, I guess we have showed them wrong before, and we can continue to do so! It doesn't mean it isn't hard, and doesn't take a huge toll physically and emotionally, but it certainly is worth remembering that no one knows what is possible, and only Sam will let us know when she can't do something.

In happier news, I almost forgot to report that last weekend Sam and I went shopping for her gammy's bday present, and we were in Target where I was going to get a board book for gammy to read to sammy. And so we enter the book section, Sam immediately looks up at me, with the hugest smile ever and asked for "more". It was the sweetest thing. It also made me feel pretty good about what her vision must be like that she could identify that we were in the book section. Speaking of vision, she is going to (finally) have a functional vision evaluation this summer at the Perkins School for the Blind at their low vision clinic to see what is going on and if we can do more to help her see. I personally think she is doing pretty well in that area, but am open to hearing if glasses or some such thing would help.

SO, while I can still get sad sometimes, my daily goal is to be so happy and grateful for all Sam is and will be, and to not get bogged down in the difficulties. Because all her experiences, both good and bad, has made her the person that she is now, and I wouldn't want another daughter. I used to think, "Wow, she is so great, think about how great she would have been if she had been born full-term without all the issues." And while I would love to have spared us all the difficulties that her dramatic entrance to the world has borne, I also know that she wouldn't be the same kid if she were born full-term and without all the difficulties. And who knows how much of her is the result of her brain injury. So, she is a wondferful child, she brings love and joy to so many, and will continue to do that, no matter what delays she has. That is what is really important. THere are plenty of children who were born "perfect" that aren't half the person little Sam is. So, I guess she is a keeper.